Groucho Marx Quotes
18 quotations by Groucho Marx
![]() | Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. | ![]() |
![]() | Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. | ![]() |
![]() | Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. | ![]() |
![]() | Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. | ![]() |
![]() | Women should be obscene and not heard. | ![]() |
![]() | My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. | ![]() |
![]() | She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. | ![]() |
![]() | Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. | ![]() |
![]() | It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. | ![]() |
![]() | I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. | ![]() |
![]() | I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. | ![]() |
![]() | Go, and never darken my towels again. | ![]() |
![]() | A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. | ![]() |
![]() | I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. | ![]() |
![]() | Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. | ![]() |
![]() | From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. | ![]() |
![]() | Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. | ![]() |
![]() | I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. | ![]() |